This Men’s Health Awareness Month, BAPAM Performance Psychologist, Dr Anna Waters, considers men’s mental heath in the performing arts.
When I sat down to write this blog about men’s mental health in the performing arts, I spent far too long searching for a clever angle, something new, or interesting to say. Yet, I kept circling back to the same familiar themes: low self-esteem, addiction, violence, and the ongoing uncertainty about what it even means to be a man today.
These issues are well-known, but they persist because they continue to shape the emotional landscape of many men, that I support.
This morning, on International Men’s Day, I heard Tim Stanley’s, “Thought for the Day” on the radio. He admitted he was “very suspicious” of the concept of even having such a day. He also pointed out that many men remain resistant to therapy and that the self-pitying man, can be almost as unattractive, as the muscle-bound man shouting at us on social media to drink protein shakes.
That line captured my attention, because it reflects two extremes that countless men feel caught between.
As a performance psychologist, my work is centred on understanding each person I meet as an individual. Gender does not define the relationship, humanity does. My aim, is to understand the unique mind in front of me, how it works, where it struggles and how to help that person perform at their best, while remaining grounded and healthy.
And it suddenly became obvious to me: perhaps the real tension many men feel lies in the polarisation itself. On one side, the “self-pitying man” who seeks help. On the other, the hyper-masculine figure selling strength, certainty and protein drinks.
In a world that amplifies these extremes, it’s easy to forget something simple and profoundly grounding:
You are a human being first.
Before performance. Before masculinity. Before expectation. Before comparison.
Recognising this is a powerful starting point. Being human means having needs, vulnerabilities and limits. And understanding this allows men to approach themselves with self-compassion, rather than criticism.
Visibility Matters: Why Performers Opening Up Helps Everyone
Many leading performers, such as Lewis Capaldi, have begun openly sharing their mental health experiences with fans and the wider world. Their honesty is reshaping the conversation.
“Therapy has been such a massive part of my… last two years, a massive part of the reason that I’m able to be a musician again.”
— Lewis Capaldi (The Scotsman)
This openness is invaluable, not only for other performers, but for people in all walks of life. It allows audiences to vicariously experience the reality behind the curtain: the struggle, the seeking of help, the gradual rebuilding and ultimately the return to performing with renewed strength.
Celebrities who speak openly about their mental health journey, use their platform to reach millions. They can help the public understand that mental illness is common, treatable and nothing to be ashamed of. Importantly, they encourage those who are struggling to seek help, rather than suffer in silence.
Returning to Our Humanity
When performers and men more broadly feel torn between cultural caricatures of masculinity, returning to the simple truth of our shared humanity can be deeply grounding.
- Being human means needing support.
- It means learning to show yourself self-compassion.
- And it means recognising that asking for help is not an act of self-pity, but an act of courage.
Here are 3 tools you could do today to build your self compassion:
- Approach yourself as you would a friend
During challenging times, pause and ask:
- What supportive words would I say to my friend in this situation?
- Would I use the same tone I’m using on myself right now?
This instantly shifts your inner dialogue from criticism to support, which reduces stress and improves focus.
- Build a 30 second refocus plan after mistakes
Self-compassion is not only emotional, it’s also behavioural. If you make a mistake rehearsing or performing, have a routine to help you get back into your performance. A simple reset could include:
- One deep, slow breath
- Rolling and relaxing your shoulders
- Saying a grounding phrase like ‘focus’ ‘calm’, or ‘ready’
This tiny habit trains your nervous system to recover faster and with more kindness.
- It’s important to separate your self-worth from your performance.
Your value as a person is not defined by how well you play, act, dance, or sing. Instead, anchor your self-worth in your values and in all the areas of your life, your relationships, your character, your efforts, and the way you show up as a human being, not just as a performer.
November being Men’s Mental Health Awareness month, perhaps the most meaningful starting is, remembering that you are allowed to be human.